Male Privilege and a Stupid World.

Almost a month ago, an unfunny jackass and host of a clip show that makes fun of people who do stupid things on "teh interwebz" made some rape jokes in public. an audience member was rightfully offended, and probably unwisely chose to point out that rape jokes are wrong. said unfunny dickhole preceded to ask "hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if like 5 dudes just raped this lady right here?".

okay, so, you may have guessed by reading the above or ANYTHING ELSE I HAVE EVER WRITTEN that i am not objective on these matters. in my opinion, there is nothing defensible in what this "comedian" did or said. yet, people who should know better (i always think that, and i am always burned *sigh*) will defend him, because, hey "heckling is wrong".

here's the deal: i am 100% anti-heckling. no one should yell out when someone else is performing. it's uncouth. and even if you are offended and they are saying horrible things, you can always leave and maybe try to get your money back. tell the world this person is awful, has no brain in their head, says horrible things, makes light of violence against women (or whatever the thing is), and spread the word. this woman did not do that. she heckled.

now: let's say that stupid-fuck-joke-man had said "lady, shut the fuck up. it was a joke. i don't come down to where you work and piss on the benches at the bus station before you can clean them" or whatever. then it would've just been like a comedian "smacking down" a heckler. no big deal. but that's NOT what happened. instead, in a fit of pique, he said that a specific woman, someone in the audience,  should be raped, and it would be hilarious. sorry, ass-clown. you did not handle yourself properly at all. even if he had called her a "bitch" or used the brand name "c word", it would have been a completely different story. he would have been an asshole still, sure, but it would've been more a situation involving performer and heckler. she would've seemed foolish. but, again, that's not what happened.

*sidebar*: i do not think that everything is off limits "as long as it's funny". sorry. what am i saying here? do i think rape jokes are wrong? yes, i do. am i suggesting no one should ever joke about rape? again, yes, that is exactly what i'm saying. sorry. i personally think it's easy, and society is "easy" right now. instead of thinking of something that is actually satirical, biting, thoughtful, etc, people are more likely to "buy" that, giving the performer more perceived cache. instead of honing his/her craft, they settle for the big money easy shit, and we get a bunch of mouth breathing troglodytes. hilarity ensues! not...
further: i am in no way, shape, or form condoning censorship. do i think anyone should tell rape jokes? no. would i ever speak out in a live audience and try to have that person removed or silenced or taken off or whatever? never. i would "vote with my dollars" as i am fond of saying. i'd probably walk out. would i later "badmouth" said person on the net, etc? probably, but that's not censorship. that would be my opinion, my blog, my twitter, whatever. hey, if it takes money from their pockets, fucking good. maybe they should try to be smart instead of shock-ful. there are enough comedians out there, some are very hilarious.
also, what constitutes a rape joke? is mike birbiglia's joke about "a rapist would never have a bed like that" a rape joke? no, i tend to think that's a joke about his being awkward and ill equipped for human interaction. the punchline of the joke is he says, instead of nothing, "you'd be surprised", and then realizes that was a dumb-ass thing to say. is my beloved Kristen Schaal on Flight Of The Conchords asking if Brit and Jemaine had been raped while in jail a rape joke? sadly, it kinda is. the humor is predicated on whether or not the two were sexually violated in jail. did i laugh at that? did it end up getting a pass because i really like all the involved players? i'm not sure. personally, again, i think it is fairly easy. i'm certainly not perfect, but i try to do the best i can. the mention of the word "rape" in a joke/bit doesn't automatically make it a rape joke. that may be grasping at straws, but it's all i got for now. something to think about, right? *end of sidebar*

what's my point in all this, you may be asking? well, as with many things that are this emotionally wrought, it's easy to get mixed up in the details. people are in fact flat out defending the use of rape jokes. so yeah, fuck those people; they're beneath my notice. next! people are defending not his rape jokes, but his reaction because the woman in the audience was a heckler and heckling is wrong: i will not do this. because he said that it'd be funny if she was gang raped in the audience. even if he wasn't saying "she should be raped" or "i hope she is raped", the thought that someone would say (even if they didn't think it) that someone being raped is funny just sickens me. and this for me is the heart of the matter. i don't think it's exaggeration to say that all of this stems from male privilege. i overheard a comedian whose name i forget (apologies) on a podcast i quite like defending the situation via the "heckling is wrong" defense. the problem i had overall was that someone saying this could've easily been written off, but he preceded to make other faulty arguments. for one: he started saying "one person said all this stuff, and everyone believed her." to me, that smacks of the tendency for people to disbelieve women who report rape. for another, he said some rather thoughtful things about the fear women feel everyday as they do things that may not bother us as men: walking alone at night, parking lots in the darkness, the usual. this would be a plus on his part, but he further negated himself by stating that these things did not in fact prove that America is a "rape culture", and that it was also alarmist rhetoric. but he's wrong: America is a rape culture, or else we not only wouldn't be able to defend people's use of rape imagery in supposed "comedy", but said people WOULDN'T BE USING IT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

so maybe my arguments are sloppy. truth be told, i'm not a sociologist or critical theorist. i'm a concerned human and staunch lefty; this is not something i've ever denied. i really just wanted to get my thoughts out there. whether or not some white privileged dudes out there think there's no problem don't make it so. and as long as this is so: we live in a stupid world and we are at the mercy of stupid, stupid people.

have a great day.