NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH... you know the rest.

so i saw The Dark Knight Rises. it was quite excellent, and i'm glad i got to see it in the theatre, mainly because i saw the other 2 there, and i think for a first viewing, when it comes to these Nolan Batman movies, the theatre is the best. i have the other two on DVD, and i enjoy them, but it doesn't compare. who's to say?

to be honest, it wasn't my favorite of the 3. i think The Dark Knight gets that honor. but all three films have had a great amount of goodness to get behind, and frankly, i don't think they could've been handled better.


this part may contain SPOILERS: it's often difficult for me to make amends in my mind with the difference between comic books and comic book related movies. for one thing, in the comics, almost no one ever figures out anyone's secret identity. in the movies, every single Batman movie (including the original series, most of which is wretched) has had him either reveal his identity or someone figure it out. i know they have to do in 2+ hours what's taken 70 years in the comics to do, as well as for non-comic readers. but still, by the end of TDKR (i apologize for that, but i'm sick of typing it) everyone knows who he is. and some didn't even use shmancy detecting. Joseph Gordon Levitt's character "just knew". kinda lame. i also don't like the whole "we killed him off BNR" thing. non comic readers may see this as the best, most fulfilling, and even most realistic ending. well, realism is dumb: it's a movie based on a comic book (note: neither of those things are real). this is why people carping on the whole "how'd he get from the prison in the desert to gotham???" is nonsense. frankly, i don't want to see 30 or 40 minutes of Bruce Wayne hopping sheep trucks in Uzbekistan or wherever the fuck. sorry. his suddenly appearing in Gotham City didn't bother me.

also, i'm not a big fan of Bane, generally speaking. i didn't give a shit about him in the comic. i think he's kind of cool in the movie, however, but... jeezis, can we just say it? the voice. i mean, what the fuck? i wasn't giggling the whole time like one reviewer i read, but it was pretty damn dumb. however, if thought of in these terms, it may make a bit more sense: despite being a horrible killer, global terrorist, mass murdering psycho, and huge mountainous slab of hugeness, he's played off as something of a dandy. seriously, think about it. he walks around in that woolen coat, holding the lapels as though he were Oscar Wilde. he is often seen quipping, asking questions with questions, pondering philosophical queries, etc. during the national anthem (which was wretched by the way, but a "stirring" a cappella version of the National Anthem sung by a boy falsetto is not my cup of tea, sorry everyone. call me a commie if you must) he remarks "what an angelic voice!" or something to that effect. bear all that in mind, as well as the fact that he was Talia al Ghul's protector when she was a tiny child, and in the film she is easily in her 30s, Bane has got to be pushing 70. i'm serious. he would have to be at least in his 60s. if Talia was like 8-10 when she escaped, and she's 30 now, Bane looks to be in his 30s in the prison. so at the least late fifties, more than likely 60s. maybe not quite pushing 70, but he's on the back end of middle age. he's older than Bruce Wayne, easily. it's possible that whatever the fuck his mask does (never fully explained, by the by), it may jack him up to his mammoth proportions, as well as slow the aging process (remember, this is a comic book based movie!). also, it's possible that Talia was older than she looked, and had been stunted by malnutrition and lack of sunlight. that's a thing, right? i just think, if she's young enough to be mistaken for a boy, she's probably still pretty small.
in the comics, it actually is Bane that is born and raised in prison. he is also pumped up with a chemical called Venom, which is a super steroid that caused huge amounts of agression. also, he's south american, not Anglo-Mid-Eastern. and not tied in with R'as al Ghul. and the mask is kinda like a Lucha Libre mask, with tubes and shit connected to it that pump the venom to him. strangely enough, the horrible Batman and Robin got it closer, if still not quite right. hilarious.
factoid: IRL, Marion Cotillard, who plays Tali al Ghul/ Ms. Tate is two years older than Tom Hardy AKA Bane (36 and 34 respectively). absurd!

also, in the negative Column, well, sort of: Joe G. Levitt as "Robin". gimme a break, please. half-way through the film, my roommate turns to me an goes "lemme guess *points to JGL on the screen*: Nightwing?" and i was like "oh shit, yeah. i can see it..." well, as it turns out, he is probably not only not Nightwing, and not even Robin, but will be the straight up new Batman. a backdoor for making more films sans Nolan, hmmm? methinks. well, i don't per se think JGL would make a terrible Batman, but i think it'd actually be cooler if he were Nightwing. tho would i pay to see a Nightwing film in theatres? probably not. also, it depends on who was directing. he was good in the film. but it think it's kinda lame to have "Robin" not be at least Tim Drake or Jason Todd if not straight up Dick Grayson.  pretty silly. as the cop character John Blake, tho, he was actually pretty good. i didn't see inception; the only film of his adult career i've seen was G.I. Joe and it fucking sucked. i don't even want to talk about it. but, no, in this he was good.

also, i'm sorry, i didn't like whiney Alfred. he was fine in the other two movies. also, one reviewer pointed out it was his idea for Bruce to be Batman. but, i can't hate on "Michael. Caine.", so there's that.

and now, the best part of the movie, and not necessarily for the obvious reasons: Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle AKA Catwoman. she was fucking fantastic. and not just because of her ridiculous hotness and her riDONKulous donka-donk in that catsuit either. how she switched from shy and demure when thieving the pearls to the bad-ass who doesn't give a fuck, jumps out the window, and precedes to kidnap a senator right up to the climactic scenes in besieged Gotham. she was the shit. and, sorry to seem pervy, but i could watch her ride that Batpod motorcycle thing any day of the week. she's a fantastic actress and seriously beyond hot. i mean, it's almost shameful how hot she is. i could go on and on, but instead, exhibit A:

holy crap, Batman.

i could go on and on about other things i love and liked less, but over-all, it was excellent, and i maintain it was a worthy capper for the trilogy. will they make more, again, without Nolan? will Joey L. be the new Batman? did Bruce Wayne actually live or was it a figment of a senile Alfred's imagination? did Bane die? was R'as al Ghul actually alive, or was it in Bruce's mind brought on by pain and exhaustion (in the comics he's immortal)? no fucking clue.

i guess we shall see.